Tag: identity

How to get a promotion or pay bump…

Are you ready for a career upgrade? Perhaps a promotion or a pay bump in your current role? It can be tough to know what “the right” way to approach this is. The real answer is there is no one way to do it, but there are some principles that I genuinely believe in that can get the job done. 

Here are FOUR things to consider in your journey: 

  1. Commit to excellence. In your current day-to-day duties, ensure that you are showing up with your 100% effort and dedication. You want to do this before you ask for a promotion and allow your upper management to notice it without any demands. This builds your reputation as a reliable employee and you will be an asset to your company – this can be used as leverage when you are ready for that salary or promotion conversation (if they don’t come to you first). 
  2. Go the extra mile. Is there something that you can do that exceeds your responsibilities? If the answer is no, I would challenge you to think harder about possibilities because I believe there is always a way to find new ways to add value. If you’re not sure, comment below or send me an email. That said, do not come to your boss with just an idea, come with a high-level plan of action. This demonstrates to your employer that they don’t need to do heavy-lifting or question if you should run with it. This allows your employer to be impressed with the idea, the strategy and builds confidence in your ability to execute. Last but not least, get approval and get it done. 
  3. Stay positive. I do not mean you have to smile 24/7 and enjoy all your coworkers but I do recommend that you keep it professional no matter what, leave your opinions at home. If you don’t like a coworker, a new policy, or a manager then it is up to you to find a professional way to handle it. I promise you there is always a way to do it professionally.  If you have a situation at work that you’re unsure how to navigate, comment below or send me an email. 
  4. Communicate. Perhaps you are already crushing it on 1-3, that brings me to the last point: communication. If you are ready for a change then it is up to you to make it known. Yes, it is ideal when your boss just notices and offers the perks but that doesn’t always happen. So take your power back! It is up to you to make it known. Each situation differs but I recommend starting by sending your boss an email requesting a one on one meeting. In this meeting, be prepared to start with gratitude for your role and how you appreciate adding value to the company. Then transition into highlighting your contributions and how you believe you have the skills to qualify for the promotion/pay bump. Pro tip: For best results, outline what you want to share on paper before you go into a meeting.

I hope these tips help you in your situation. If you need help navigating your path, please comment below or send me an email to request a 1:1 and I would be happy to offer a free 30min consultation. My email is vladlenadufresne@gmail.com and I hope to connect with you.

Wishing each of you a successful career that you genuinely enjoy!

He is RISEN.

Easter Sunday is one of my favorite days of the year. It is a day to appreciate and reflect on the relentless love, never-ending grace and the abundance of blessings that Jesus sacrificed his life for. This day tends to bring tears because it reminds me of Gods love and blessings…fully undeserved by me, but given freely through Christ.

May you choose that TODAY, you reset your faith in Jesus. If the past year has been turbulent, challenging…and maybe even stolen your peace – I encourage you to call on the name of Jesus and let his resurrection power begin to renew your soul, your mind and your life.

Jesus LIVES for this so it is not about what you deserve or don’t deserve – remember that Jesus is the one who gains the credit and we are simply his fully favored & blessed children.

Easter is a reminder of all that HE has done for us. May we remember and keep that centered in our hearts for the rest of the year.

Prayer: Jesus, thank you for the ultimate sacrifice. You gave yourself so that we mat live in freedom. You covered our sins by your blood, you washed us clean. This is not anything we did to earn, but fully given freely by you because you are the living example of LOVE. Love is beautiful & love is sacrifice. You are not just a version of truth..you say I AM the way, the truth and the life. It is only in you and through you that we know the Father. Jesus I ask in your name, please stay in our hearts and remind us that you are always there for us and that your gift was free to us. May we learn how to RECEIVE this gift with hearts full of gratitude, love and forgiveness…yes. May your love inspire us to love those around us with more mercy & grace. Amen.

Grace for Yourself.

Life feels like a stage sometimes, at least I feel that way lately. Leaving a secure job to step out into the unknown on faith alone feels like I am being watched more than ever, by others and myself. I feel the pressure rising from around me, but also from within me. Performance starts to kick in…last week I shared a perspective on pressure & performance and today I want to elaborate on performance but in a different way. 

Yes, performance usually stems from trying to take control of a situation and spiritually it means I am taking my eyes off of Jesus and not trusting that he already has a victory planned. However, physically I found that it means I am protecting myself. We all have our own ways of “creating safety” and it usually stems from childhood patterns. 

One of the biggest ways I “created safety” when I was young was by performing to please my parents. Early on it was as innocent as a silly dance or story, but as I grew older (and I am sure you relate) it turned into performing in school/chores (or maybe something different for you…sports/hobbies/talents/etc). Later in my life when any problem big or small would overwhelm my parents and I learned to be hyper-aware of problems on the horizon (living in a tension state of trying to predict the next thing) in order to foresee any “problems” so I could fix it before it happens. I believe this is what we call anxiety. Trying to control things we have no control over, living in a future state instead of the present. 

The point I am making is that my constant hyper-awareness of whats happening around me and a need to control it, stems from a need to feel safe. As a child, when you don’t understand how to process things you create your own solutions to keep you safe. Hyper-awareness was my solution and I got good enough at it that even I didn’t realize I was doing it. All I knew is that in certain settings, I would curate and perform leaving myself feeling drained but not understanding the underlying roots (to feel safe). 

A lot of our habits stem from childhood…but enough about that. The main takeaway is that God has grace for your need to perform (or whichever habit you’re struggling with) because he sees the heart of a confused child trying to feel safe. He is not mad at you for it, not threatened by it but he is so in love with you and hopes you run to him for healing. 

Note: Healing can look different – sometimes through prayer he brings peace, sometimes he reveals a season of growth in an area to prepare you, sometimes he brings life challenges to teach a specific lesson, sometimes he makes you wait, sometimes he leads you to new friendships, sometimes he urges you to ask for help whether it be from a pastor/mentor or therapist. Different people, different situations…God tailors his approach to you.

God is always in the midst of it with you & has so much grace to pour over you. It never runs out – not for you or anyone else. So today the message is this – God has grace for you, so have grace for yourself. Forgive yourself if you need to, let go of things if you need to…but don’t shame/guilt yourself when you are trying your best. Stand confident knowing God’s grace will catch you every single time and he is doing a good work in you.

Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for your unending grace. Please forgive me of my sins and teach me the true way to live & serve you. Help me understand the conflicts within myself but always with self-compassion and grace – just as you extend it. Help me learn and grow to be more like you without focusing on the areas where I am not. May your grace for me create in me a heart of compassion for others. In Jesus name, amen.

Pressure & Performance

This year I quit my secure job to dive into the world of being a founder of a tech startup. Yet, when someone asks what I do…I don’t always know how to answer – I own my own business -OR- I am a founder of a tech company…I try to find the right answer but those responses seem unreal because they seem to “fancy” because the reality of being a founder in early stages is that your confidence in yourself is still developing and although I AM a founder, the app is not ready yet and the first part of the puzzle is raising capital (something I knew nothing about when I started) and the goal was to get by JUST ENOUGH to pay the necessary bills of the business and moving forward with the business plan and then BAM, more bills and another round of funds is required to keep moving forward. The cycle begins again and yes, I could just focus on aggressively raising funds early on but the truth is…those investor meetings would terrify me. I would be so excited about my idea, but I hated public speaking so the process of meetings where the spotlight was on me to present, answer questions AND ask for their buy-in (personally and financially) was sort of a personal torture (just being transparent here).

Fast forward to present day, it feels better. I have grown in confidence and knowledge but I still don’t have all the answers so the meetings are easier…but not easy. I still fight this feeling of “they will think I am not enough” and try to perform my way out of that fear because inside, even though I KNOW what I am capable of, others may not. When I have a vision or get passionate about something…even when it is hard, I commit and figure out how to get to the finish line. The element I don’t share very often is how hard I am on myself and how that leads me to struggle in painful ways, an internal torment (that may sound dramatic but talk to my support system and you’ll know that I am not exaggerating)…but I push through anyway.

That said, I don’t push through alone. God is my refuge and encourages me every step along the way. I have had more breakdowns than I would care to admit, but God has carried me through each of them – whether it be a worship song that calms me, my spouse giving me an encouraging pep talk (beyond grateful for his love & support), a prayer session that humbles me, a journaling session where I gain clarity or some other way because God is endlessly creative.

I do genuinely believe that the only reason I am able to push through in this process is directly tied to my faith. I genuinely believe God called me to this purpose, I have had this vision since 2017 and the knock on my spirit only got stronger since. God has been building me as a person, brought me to my spouse (who is an integral part of this journey, I couldn’t do it without him), building my professional confidence, my public speaking skills and so much more in between.

That said, today I am writing about PRESSURE & PERFORMANCE. I hope the context was interesting to you to help you understand where I am coming from when I talk about the pressure & performance. I listened to a sermon by Pastor Steven Furtick (Elevation Church) and he was directly speaking on this topic. He said “certain type of pressure points to PRIDE in your life” and that when we feel this specific pressure it is because we have disconnected from our source (God) and try to perform for our own purpose which leads to losing our strength.

(Link to the video: https://youtu.be/T-M64gZW2hM)

I hate to admit it, but it is true. In my spirit, I know God brought me here and is leading me through it, but when the reality of what I am doing set in…I put all the pressure on myself. Believing that I am the one that is looking at the bank account, paying the bills, presenting my pitch deck, networking, researching, planning strategies..etc. That is what led me to spiraling self-doubt and feeling immense pressure. I took my eyes off of the one who is TRULY leading this ship…of course I will doubt myself, I am only human. This process REQUIRES you to keep your eyes on Jesus because he is worthy of ALL trust and faith. I don’t need to doubt Jesus… when I am connected to Him and know it is through HIS POWER that I am where I am and that HE will guide me to the next step…the pressure evaporates. How interesting is that? A pressure that was nearly CRUSHING me…dissipates in the presence of Jesus.

Can I get an AMEN?

So my point here is that pressure comes when our eyes are off of Jesus and we begin to perform in our own ability which leads to a weary, discouraged, frustrated and unstable soul. Therefore, we must intentionally keep our eyes on Jesus. This part is not easy band learning how to do this is a process in itself but I hope you are encouraged by this verse in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Prayer: Father, thank you for your love, your faithfulness, your strength and your promises. Forgive me when I start to perform for myself and take my eyes off of you. Reveal to me the motives of my heart and continue to correct me on my course. I cling to you as my refuge, my strength and my hope. I trust that I am safe in your arms and that you will lead me on safe paths even when I don’t see the road ahead. God, help me see how to be faithful in THIS day and not worry about the future. Grant me heavenly peace as I navigate the unknown and learn to trust you on a deeper level. My hearts desire is that I keep getting closer to your heart – help me remember that when I start to see the physical more than the spiritual purpose. I will make mistakes along the way but I will not be discouraged! I will cling to you and trust that I am learning & growing. Thank you Lord for carrying me through this. Amen.

Struggling with Identity

Are you struggling with something in your life? Chances are…you are. I will be the first to admit that lately, I have felt a lot of struggles from within myself. It feels like a war has begun in my spirit and the distorted approach is that I didn’t recognize that it was the enemy who quickly planted the thought “something is wrong with you” and I believed it. I start asking “what is wrong with me” and that spirals into trying to pick apart my past and trying to understand my own psychology through analytical self-reflection. I convinced myself I am approaching it well, I am doing “the work” but God reminds me that the root “issue” is NOT me..I am not an issue, I am his beloved child and the issue is that Satan wants to convince me otherwise – that I am not capable, wise, worthy or truly loved and when I allow one thought in, the others burst through the door along with it.

I am reminded of Ephesians 6:12 that states “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

Recently, this verse has not been top of mind and the quality of life has gone down significantly. All of the sudden, everything feels like a personal attack and offense when it is not. We must remember who GOD says we are, not the lies of the enemy. It is so dangerous to believe Satan when he says:

No one loves you.

You are not worthy of good things happening in your life.

Who do you think you are?

Am I alone or have you heard these voices in your head? My guess is you have heard them on some level, and if not…I will just share my perspective because I do wrestle with these voices. In all honestly, some seasons it is less of a struggle but other times…it takes center stage. I believe when God is trying to grow us, teach us and take us into a new place of intimacy with him…that is when Satan strikes hard with these thoughts because he desperately wants to derail us from the TRUTH that God has spoken over our lives:

You are loved – not just a little, but DEEPLY loved. So much so God sent his only Son to die on the cross for your sins. It is personal, God knew of you in that time and did it for YOU, for your sins. God’s ability to love is beyond what our earthly understanding of love is, so if we think of “love” just know that whatever our version of that is, God’s love is a million times stronger and deeper. I think this is the truth Satan is desperately trying to distort for his own gain.

You are WORTHY because through Christ, we are pure. The old has gone, the new has come! When we accept Jesus, we accept that our sins are forgiven…not because we earned it, but because Gods grace is the gift we were given through Jesus Christ. I feel like our flesh tends to reject this gift but when we reject the gift of grace, we reject the grandiosity of Jesus’ sacrifice and call it “humility” when in reality…it is not humility that causes you to reject grace, it is shame. It is the shame that we carry around that causes us to say “no, I cant accept this” when God extends his grace.For some reason, it is hard for us to forgive ourselves but if we can’t forgive ourselves, we haven’t accepted that God has forgiven us…again, short-selling the work on the cross. The sad part is…we aren’t trying to do this, but this is the spiritual fight referenced in Ephesians.

You are a child of God, THAT is WHO YOU ARE. You are NOT the feelings you have about yourself today, you are always a child of God who is deeply loved, cared for, protected, blessed and favored. This is Gods promise to us…and it is so dangerous when we forget his promises. This is why it is so important to memorize verses so that when Satan strikes…we know how to strike back.

I will admit, I have struggled with striking back lately. I felt shame for it. I wanted to hide but God reminded me that I am not alone. That he is still my God, that his mercies are new EACH day and that I am never out of his reach. I think it is important to acknowledge that when this type of season is present, it is not an immediate fix and we should not expect it to be. We should be rebuking those thoughts but it is a consistent rebuking, not one and done. So if you prayed/rebuked..and still struggle: you are not alone. It is a process and my prayer for you and anyone who is going through a struggle is that you hold tight to God’s promises. That if you mess up or break down, know that God is not judging you..his heart hurts to see you hurt and his hope is that you seek Him in that moment. He is ready to pour out his love on you but he also knows that you are being made stronger, more whole and more equipped to step into the person he has called you to be so don’t give up.

I pray you are blessed & encouraged today! We are not alone, we stand in this life together and remember…we really have more in common with one another than we think so stay compassionate & kind.