Struggling with Identity

Are you struggling with something in your life? Chances are…you are. I will be the first to admit that lately, I have felt a lot of struggles from within myself. It feels like a war has begun in my spirit and the distorted approach is that I didn’t recognize that it was the enemy who quickly planted the thought “something is wrong with you” and I believed it. I start asking “what is wrong with me” and that spirals into trying to pick apart my past and trying to understand my own psychology through analytical self-reflection. I convinced myself I am approaching it well, I am doing “the work” but God reminds me that the root “issue” is NOT me..I am not an issue, I am his beloved child and the issue is that Satan wants to convince me otherwise – that I am not capable, wise, worthy or truly loved and when I allow one thought in, the others burst through the door along with it.

I am reminded of Ephesians 6:12 that states “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

Recently, this verse has not been top of mind and the quality of life has gone down significantly. All of the sudden, everything feels like a personal attack and offense when it is not. We must remember who GOD says we are, not the lies of the enemy. It is so dangerous to believe Satan when he says:

No one loves you.

You are not worthy of good things happening in your life.

Who do you think you are?

Am I alone or have you heard these voices in your head? My guess is you have heard them on some level, and if not…I will just share my perspective because I do wrestle with these voices. In all honestly, some seasons it is less of a struggle but other times…it takes center stage. I believe when God is trying to grow us, teach us and take us into a new place of intimacy with him…that is when Satan strikes hard with these thoughts because he desperately wants to derail us from the TRUTH that God has spoken over our lives:

You are loved – not just a little, but DEEPLY loved. So much so God sent his only Son to die on the cross for your sins. It is personal, God knew of you in that time and did it for YOU, for your sins. God’s ability to love is beyond what our earthly understanding of love is, so if we think of “love” just know that whatever our version of that is, God’s love is a million times stronger and deeper. I think this is the truth Satan is desperately trying to distort for his own gain.

You are WORTHY because through Christ, we are pure. The old has gone, the new has come! When we accept Jesus, we accept that our sins are forgiven…not because we earned it, but because Gods grace is the gift we were given through Jesus Christ. I feel like our flesh tends to reject this gift but when we reject the gift of grace, we reject the grandiosity of Jesus’ sacrifice and call it “humility” when in reality…it is not humility that causes you to reject grace, it is shame. It is the shame that we carry around that causes us to say “no, I cant accept this” when God extends his grace.For some reason, it is hard for us to forgive ourselves but if we can’t forgive ourselves, we haven’t accepted that God has forgiven us…again, short-selling the work on the cross. The sad part is…we aren’t trying to do this, but this is the spiritual fight referenced in Ephesians.

You are a child of God, THAT is WHO YOU ARE. You are NOT the feelings you have about yourself today, you are always a child of God who is deeply loved, cared for, protected, blessed and favored. This is Gods promise to us…and it is so dangerous when we forget his promises. This is why it is so important to memorize verses so that when Satan strikes…we know how to strike back.

I will admit, I have struggled with striking back lately. I felt shame for it. I wanted to hide but God reminded me that I am not alone. That he is still my God, that his mercies are new EACH day and that I am never out of his reach. I think it is important to acknowledge that when this type of season is present, it is not an immediate fix and we should not expect it to be. We should be rebuking those thoughts but it is a consistent rebuking, not one and done. So if you prayed/rebuked..and still struggle: you are not alone. It is a process and my prayer for you and anyone who is going through a struggle is that you hold tight to God’s promises. That if you mess up or break down, know that God is not judging you..his heart hurts to see you hurt and his hope is that you seek Him in that moment. He is ready to pour out his love on you but he also knows that you are being made stronger, more whole and more equipped to step into the person he has called you to be so don’t give up.

I pray you are blessed & encouraged today! We are not alone, we stand in this life together and remember…we really have more in common with one another than we think so stay compassionate & kind.

Walking with God.

We so often get so fixated on “knowing our purpose” when our purpose is simply to walk with God daily… 

I think that is the hard part for us, to reset DAILY. We want to know our FULL purpose so that we can plan and create and work toward it. God works differently…he wants us to surrender and not know but TRUST him in the process. 

God deeply desires a relationship with you, and he desires a foundation built on trust. This is how we ought to plan our life – not “what is the purpose for my life” but “God, thank you for this day and this life. Please help me stay connected to you and understand what my purpose is for this day. Help me lead with love, forgive freely, work diligently and follow your call. I surrender to your divine ways and trust that you always take care of me in the process.”

It can be hard to know how to reset our hearts & minds with God, I have written out some options that have worked for me. I pray one of these sticks out to you and you decide to simply try. Effort goes a long way, I believe when we put effort into connecting with God…he is SO excited to meet us in that place. It may take a while, but I guarantee you that you will see your life transform for the good when you are persistent. 

Practical ways to connect with God:

  1. Prayer:
    • Turn on some worship music and just start praising God.
      • Thank God for your life, your home, your body, your health, the food on your table, your family, your friends, your mind, your transportation..whatever it is you have in your life…PRAISE GOD. 
    • Pray over those in your circle – the good and the bad. 
      • This is crucial – not only those who bless you but pray over those who persecute you. The bible says to bless your enemies (Matthew 4:43-44), and that can be really hard so I believe in baby steps..start with asking God to remove bitterness from your heart, then ask Him to work in the heart of this person and help their heart condition and for God to heal the wounds they have. We all have heard “hurt people hurt people ”…read that again if you haven’t – but the idea is, it is our own hurts, fears and insecurities that lead us to hurt others. So pray that the wounds in the heart of your enemies are healed and that they are connected to Jesus. 
    • Pray over your heart condition 
      • If you don’t know where to start, this can be a good place to check in with God. Pray that God reveals the condition of your heart. It is all too easy to point fingers of blame at others about circumstances of our life but the bible clearly states that it is from the condition of our heart that ALL ELSE flows from (Proverbs 4:23) so be diligent in checking in with God about YOUR heart. I cant stress the importance of this enough because this truly is what leads your life to be led in unity with Christ. Taking accountability for your life and what YOU can do to be closer to God rather than calling out the sins of others or the nation…it all begins with us and our hearts. If we can prioritize our connection with God, we are divinely pointing others (sometimes without having to say a word) to Heaven and allowing the Holy Spirit to divinely work instead of burning ourselves out. Matthew 7:3 speaks about our ability to point out “the speck” in our neighbor’s eye and ignore “the log” in our own. This is a simple way of saying, check yourself before God before you have the need to check others. None of us are perfect, all of us are worthy of the LOVE of God through Jesus. So remember that and allow that humility to set in before you have a need to call out sin. That said, if your friend or close one is STRUGGLING I absolutely agree with praying over them during your time with God, and if God stirs your heart to speak to them…ask God for him to provide the right words to stir their hearts..but when it comes to public call-outs & shaming…I simply wonder if that is the holy spirit or a “righteous” impulse? The point here is…check with God. 
    • Pray over the direction of your life
      • Instead of NEEDING to know your purpose so you can plan every detail (and not rely on God) – simply pray for God’s protection and divine direction over your life and ask that he reveal the next step so that you can walk WITH him in this direction. This may include asking for guidance over your education, your relationship/marriage, your career, your kids, etc. 
    • Pray over your community! Pray over your Nation. 
      • We live in strange times, and I’ll be one to admit it is HARD to understand how to handle certain news and situations. I won’t dive into the details but everything from COVID, work policies, education changes that CONCERN our hearts….bring those concerns to God before starting a fight that may not be yours to fight. I know God is NOT a passive God so although he may tell you to stand down, it doesn’t mean that HE is standing down. God always fights for his children, but it is important that as his Children, we seek his guidance on which battle he has requested we stand up to. This was something I personally struggled with this last week, and I got so fired up and angry about the condition of our region (PNW) and all that led to was massive anxiety…not peace. I knew when that happened I am not aligned with God’s heart, for God wants us to live in peace and even when we FIGHT, we have peace for God is with us. 
  1. Worship:
    • This one is easy, SING songs of praises! When we sing and praise God, he is delighted and OUR hearts shift and are aligned with him. Oftentimes, this is a good place to start before prayer because it realigns our heart with gratitude before we start asking God for stuff…God wants to bless us but he wants our hearts first.
      • Search Youtube/Spotify/Pandora for any of the following and jot down your favorite songs: 
      1. Jesus Culture 
      2. Hillsong Worship 
      3. Bethel 
      4. Kim Walker Smith 
      5. Lauren Daigle 
      6. Chris Tomlin 
      7. Tauren Wells 
  2. Journaling
    • This is a personal favorite – but it can vary person to person. I love writing, it helps me connect to God in a tangible way because I am physically writing. This is what started a pattern of a prayer life in my own faith journey. Sometimes it felt empty to speak into the room “to God” and journaling made it feel more real and connected. The amazing thing is, God is ready to respond in ANY way that you chose to speak with Him. 
    • Some wonder…what do you write, how do you pray via journal? For me, its almost a formula :
      1. Gratitude: Thanking God for the day and all the blessings I have in my life 
      2. Lifting others up: I seek to pray over the people in my life and their situations. I feel like beginning with the request of others helps me step out of a self-centered life with God where I only seek his blessings to help me on my path. Faith is so much bigger than me, it is FIRST about God and then it is about serving others and in the midst of those things God does increase you and favor you and bless you. 
      3. Request: Seek his guidance for my day and allow me the clarity to understand what my priorities should be. 
      4. Tasks: I ask him to highlight those most important tasks and clarity on HOW to accomplish them if it is something new 
      5. Ask: I ask God “Is there anything you want to speak to my heart today?” and most of the time, I feel the guidance of the holy spirit taking over my hand as I write a message that I know is from God who is always so gentle and kind but also ready to set conviction over certain things. Here is ONE TRUTH…God is NEVER intimidated by where you are at, the struggles you face or the sin you have. God ALWAYS wants you to talk to him about it, invite him into that space so that he can work with you to bring you freedom, not condemn you for falling short. 
  1. Listen to teachings/sermons 
    • If you are an EARLY riser, I recommend starting here. At least from personal experience, this has worked for me and I’ll tell you why…dont judge me. It is because you don’t really need to do anything other than get your cup of coffee and LISTEN…listen to a pastor/teacher and allow that to fill your heart and mind and from there move on to worship/prayer/etc. Simply put, it gives you time to wake up while intentionally setting your sights on God. 
    • Everyone has their favorite…my go-to these days is Joyce Meyer. She has a NEW post every day that is 10-20min long (enough to allow the coffee to thick in and have a godly word set in EARLY in the day)
    • Link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCER2LBsm4hB_Kxte63RoftQ 

As mentioned, I hope one (or a few) of these options stand out to you and you choose to reset your heart on God and walk with him daily. Be blessed!

VERSES MENTIONED: 

Matthew 5:43-44 

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor’ and ‘Hate your enemy.But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matthew 7:3 

“Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.

Proverbs 4:23 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Faith First.

When it comes to living the life of your dreams, you must expect challenges. Challenges in mindset, confidence, relationships, skills..etc. They can come in many different forms, and they will. Most people won’t take the chance of stepping into their dream life because they simply do not wish to give up the comfort of security. The fear of the unknown is too strong, therefore they stay at bay. 

I was in this place for a few years with my business idea. I kept looking around to see if someone else would do it. Over and over again God whispers “I am calling you to do this”. 

The questions start racing…why me? How me? I don’t have industry experience, coding skills or CEO experience..the list goes on. God says, you may not have all of those things but you have everything you NEED to get this done. You have leadership skills, people skills, decision making skills, organization skills, program management skills…the list goes on. Not to mention you also have  kindness, integrity and most importantly…you have ME. 

That last part is what got me, the God of the Universe says I have HIM. In all ways, he has proven this to me over and over again. At that moment, I knew I had to commit to bringing this vision I have cultivated (for over 3 years) to life. God is on my side, I will not fail (Psalm 46:5).

Accepting the belief that I am called and I CAN do it is only the beginning. The next part is where the real work begins. You must find a way to stay rooted in that belief as the emails pile up, decisions must be made, capital must be raised, investor meetings must be scheduled, meeting notes must be entered, follow ups, coaching, learning, growing…the list only increases. I will be honest here, I was riding an emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows and I knew God wanted me to have stable peace...not rollercoaster emotions. 

I went to prayer to seek his help and as always, God provided. He gave me a SUPER POWER phrase to help me recenter and realign my spirit with his whenever I felt unstable, scared, anxious, nervous, etc. 

What is this thought life super power phrase?  “FAITH FIRST.”  

What does that even mean? It means that you are guaranteed unexpected curveballs in life and in those moments, you hold the power to decide HOW you live your life. Do you live in a state of fear or faith? I made a decision early on that I choose to live from a place of love, faith & abundance. 

How can you use this? Whenever you feel scared, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious about whatever is going on…think (or say out loud) “faith first” and make the decision that you lead with faith. It will be undoubtedly true that fears will exist in this moment and what I found helpful is to acknowledge my fears, even thank them (because most of the time they are simply trying to keep me safe) and allow them to be present, but never let them lead the way. The analogy I like to use is driving a car…fears can sit in the backseat but faith is always the one driving the car. 

I pray you are blessed by this message! Let me know if this message resonates with you, if you tried & what your results were, or if you have a request for a specific topic to be covered in my next post. 

Thank you for stopping by. ❤

Young woman, rise!

Straight to the point? Let’s do it.

Stop blocking yourself from the greatness God has marked you with. I speak from experience, I am in a season of life where challenges are always around the corner. Some days, I feel like an overcomer and others…I feel defeated.

That said, God is on my side..and he is on your side too!

The repeating phrase I hear when I have those moments of defeat is “young woman, rise!” which takes me to the story in Mark 5 when Jesus comes to pray over a young girl believed to have passed away…Jesus says to her “Talitha Koum!” (Meaning “little girl, I say to you, get up!”) and immediately the girl stood up! 

This applies to us more than we think because I believe in our spirits, we also need to hear this and know the power that grants us the ability to RISE!!! Even after we have fallen, even after we messed up, even after we lost faith in ourselves…God hasn’t. He is there to redeem you, restore you and guide you onto safe paths.

So if you’re feeling down, let the work of Jesus remind you that you too can RISE!!!! 💫